Coach and I had finally settled on my next marathon which was 12 weeks away from race day. It was my job to find a couple half marathons and a 5K to run before the big race. I decided to run the Santa to the Sea half in Oxnard, a very small, fast course just about an hour away. I knew a lot of friends who have raced it and who would be running this year so I was pretty excited. As race day approached, I quickly realized I wasn’t in race shape as I was finding myself struggling with my shorter tempo run (4-5 miles @ 6:40 pace) and coach told me to use this race as a tempo training run, “…and maybe surprise yourself.”

As I toed the starting line, with 7 full weeks of base training under my belt, I felt relieved that I wouldn’t be hitting the wall somewhere out there on the course but also full of stress because my Garmin wasn’t catching a signal and I was very rushed to get to the starting line. My plan was to run with my friends Radell and Mike who would be pace leaders for the 1:30:00 group. I figured I would do my best to stay with them and pick-up later if I felt good.

At the start of the race, I stayed with them and early on I was able to count the females in front of me as they made their way around a right turn: 13th place. No big deal, only a training run. Early on I felt I would be disappointed if I didn’t pick up my pace and show a little more effort so I started to focus on the runners in front of me, trying to catch them one at a time.

By the time my Garmin got reception, I found myself near mile 4 and quickly hit the lap button so I could at least start to check my mile splits. Mile 4 was WAY off and I found myself reaching mile 5 way before my watch did. I was feeling really good and comfortable, opting to listen to my ipod thinking it would help distract me from negative thoughts and block out any potential hard breathing.

By the time I got to mile 11, I had passed 8 women and there was a blonde girl in front of us that was pretty consistent and nearly out of reach. I felt very strong, mad at myself for all the negative thoughts and self-doubt as I turned into the finish line and noticing I better speed up if I wanted to break 1:27:00. Wow, I couldn’t believe it — just this February I ran a balls out race to run 1:26:18. I quickly called my coach who congratulated me and told me to continue running so I could get in 18 for the day. Overall I was the 5th women and 5th in my age group. Some pretty good gals out there with the winner coming in at 1:14:00.

Time to focus, time to tough it out mentally.

Finish Time: 1:26:57

Yesterday’s Santa to the Sea Half Marathon closed out my 7^th week of running including my first 50-mile week in a very long time.  These past weeks have been very trying and roller coaster-like.  It was interesting to see my fitness level upon my return, which was much better than I had anticipated and I was elated, but then my mental fitness seemed to suffer more and more as the weeks progressed.

I am finding that mental conditioning is almost as important as physical conditioning because it seems like we can simply erase weeks and weeks of very successful training by negativity and lack of confidence.  I have felt weak mentally in the last three to four weeks of training and it definitely showed in my post-run reports on DM and took up significant amount of my time, especially the night before and day-of tough runs (at least three per week: track/speed, tempo and long runs).

I noticed this trend right away and I also noticed it was affecting me in every aspect of my life – just plain negativity, stress and all without good reason. Weird. Not exactly sure where all of this came from but it was here and I didn’t like it at all and I immediately began to work on it.

As a suggestion from a friend, I downloaded several self-help/spiritual-type books on my Kindle and began burning through pages and pages of very interesting observation and I tried to incorporate some of those concepts/ideas into my life.  I found out after a few tough runs that I had stopped yelling at myself internally – I am notorious for saying, “stop being a pussy Trace,” and replaced it with, “baby you got this.” This sounds so cheesy but it was happening and often. Baby? Where the heck did I get that word? Pretty funny stuff. Anyway, it (it as in the attempt to focus on positive) did seem to help tremendously, although it seemed like the minute something negative happened, I was instantly drawn back into that state from hell and had to crawl back out again.

I am not really writing this to talk about my issues or anything like that, I just feel like I had a breakthrough run yesterday that just reconfirmed my second paragraph. Just the week before I couldn’t get in four miles at a 6:30 pace (my splits were 6:34, 6:48, 6:44 and 6:34) and yet I managed to get in 13.1 miles at a comfortable 6:38 pace.  I needed that run, I needed the confirmation that I am coming back with a strong return and that I need to continuously work on being more positive.

I mentioned in my last post that I had one small hiccup in my training since coming back. That small hiccup was me diving for the bouquet at a wedding (wearing 5″ heels) that send me crashing to the ground, giving a crotch peep show for all in front of me. Oh my gosh, what was I thinking? I would never go for the bouquet but my boyfriend’s brother Greg urged me on so I thought what the heck.  I did not end up catching the bouquet, I caught a single rose (meaning someone is off the hook) and I hurt my ankle. I have to take three days off from running to make sure everything was OK and on the fourth day, I ran without a problem. Thank goodness! It’s pretty tough being a runner since you sometimes have to give up small luxuries like high heels – stilettos specifically.  I can’t completely rid myself of them because sometimes a girl needs to feel sexy and shoes sure do help.

Anyway, on a related note, I came across this headline: Brides race for prizes in Serbia
What? Are you kidding me? I always tell my friends about the race, or actually a dash with women wearing high heels and then I find this!  This race is actually safer since you wear whatever shoes you want and potentially take home the designer dress you wear if you qualify for prizes.  Pretty good way to save some money if you ask me!

Hooray, I am running again! Four weeks of running with once a small hiccup and I am elated. Wow, I was out for 12 weeks and that felt like forever. Any day that I am unable to run truly feels like too long.  My first week back I was shocked to see how all the aqua running and spinning kept me fit. Of course I knew it would help to some extent but you know how you sometimes can’t really tell if something really works but you have to assume? Like when your foot hurts and you decide to buy new running shoes and when you test them out, your foot doesn’t don’t hurt anymore? Obviously you think the shoes did the trick but did you consider that you had taken a small break or did you count the numerous times you iced?  Well, I make those kind of assumptions all the time but with this recent experience, I finally have proof, no doubt in my mind.

By the end of my first week back I already had upset my coach. She sent my workouts and for my long run on Sunday, she wasn’t specific about my pace – she simply said, “9 miles 7:30 or faster”. Well, to me it was an opportunity to see what I could do without getting in trouble.  During that run I kept peeking at my pace and thinking there must be a mistake, there is now way I just ran a 6:36 sixth mile. By the end of the run, I had averaged a 6:56 pace and couldn’t have been happier. Well, that was until my coach found out!  Coach was very upset, acknowledging that she wasn’t very specific but happy to see where my current fitness level is. Since then, I get numerous text messages from her telling me to be patient so I don’t get injured again. You got it coach!

I am hoping my progress reports will continue to be good – cross training will continue to be a part of my program (for life) and I will be spending the next few days planning my 2012 race schedule.

Thank goodness October is here — August and September felt like the longest months of my life! I had been meaning to post about a few personal issues lately that really pulled on my heartstrings but I just didn’t have the energy to go back there and relive that whole ordeal. I kept thinking about it and finally I thought that I should just get it out of the way since in some respects, those dreadful experiences did in some weird force me to reconsider some of the choices I made and to reevaluate what’s important.

It all started with the final couple of weeks of my young cousin’s life.  He was battling cancer and me not being so close to my family, I observed the progress over Facebook.  Me being the worrier that I am, decided that I should probably schedule a few appointments just to make sure I was OK.

I started by visiting a dermatologist to get a screen cancer test, after all, I do spend quite a bit of time running outdoors and I do have a few moles/spots on my skin that I sometimes worry about.  After stuffing my purse with a some SPF samples in the waiting room, I was directed to the examining room.  Practically naked, wearing only a pair of undies and one of those paper gowns, shivering and waiting for what seemed like an eternity for the doctor (of course once the doctor came in the actual screening probably took less than 10 minutes).  In a nutshell she began by asking me questions like, “Do you wear sunscreen?” and then briskly but thoroughly began scanning my entire body.  I was so embarrassed even though I knew it was standard procedure and caught myself extremely tense when she had to practically pry my legs open to check my inner thigh area.  I can only imagine how red my face became. The whole procedure happened so quickly that I forgot to question a few specific markings that I meant to ask her about.  I was so relieved she told me that everything was normal and that she would see me again in one year. Before I left, she briefly told me remember this simple test when examining myself.

A (Assymetrical) – Moles and spots should be assymetrical — one side should mirror the other. A few examples would include circle, spade, heart, square, whatever.

B (Border) – The border of each marking should be consistent and not thicker in some area than others.

C (Color) – The mole/marking should be the same color all the way through. She also said that most people develop the same color markings on their body, sometimes you may develop one that is completely different in color and you should have it looked at.

D (Diameter) – Any markings that are bigger than 6mm in diameter (think of an eraser on a pencil) should be looked by your doctor.

E (Evolution) – Keep an eye on marking that change over time — they shouldn’t get bigger or change colors.

*Of course these are just guidelines, annual exams should be scheduled regardless.

Finally I thought to get a physical and a blood test since I rarely go to the doctor unless something is noticeably wrong.  I was pretty confident that everything would be OK but I was still a little worried and it didn’t help that the phlebotomist did something weird that caused me to feel severe pain while filling one of the vials. They notified me that they would only be able to do a partial physical since they were in the process of moving and that I could schedule the EKG and chest x-rays at a later date.  72 hours later I called to get the results the person who answered the phone said the doc would have to call me back. A few hours later the same girl, not the doctor called me back to say everything was fine and the results came back normal. I asked her, “If everything was not fine, would the doctor have called me instead?” She assured me that would have been the case.  I hung up the phone feeling very happy until a few days later I noticed that my cousin had passed away, and I found out from Facebook of course. Damn it.

Obviously I was really upset, not because of the way I found out but because the way I found out had become the typical way of finding out what is going on with my family.  Where most of us recognize how social media has changed the way we communicate with people, for me it actually had started bringing me closer to family that I wouldn’t have normally been in contact with.  Unfortunately I hadn’t been in “real” contact with my cousin for what seemed like 12-15 years but we had shared some closeness simply because of some common experiences.  I was also mad at myself for not visiting him when it was clear that time was limited even though he had already began refusing visitors.

Soon enough, details of his memorial were posted on FB, his own page which had become a way for everyone (family and friends) to check-in, show support, offer words of encouragement and express love.  His page would soon change to a memorial page that was managed by his widow and still very active today.

The night before his service I was literally out of my mind. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t stop crying and I was flooding my boyfriend’s cell phone with text messages, telling him I couldn’t go, I didn’t want to go.  I seriously even told myself I would rather die than go. He of course promised me that everything would be OK and that he would be there holding my hand and I could get through it.  What you don’t know is that this anxiety was about more than his passing, it was about dealing with reality and seeing my family (mom, dad, brother, everyone) while feeling so weak and vulnerable. I just couldn’t imagine getting through that day which would literally put me in front of some family that I hadn’t seen in more than a decade.  Mostly feeling angry about my childhood, angry and everyone for their decisions and even more angry at myself for moving far away as soon as I had the opportunity. And of course I was scared everyone hated me for distancing myself so much, assuming I thought I was better than them when I really just wanted to get away. Out of sight, out of mind.

We drove two hours to get to the service in Taft which lasted less than an hour. It was a great service filled with his family and tons of friends reminiscing on their precious time spent together.  It was eery to watch the powerpoint presentation full of pictures that I was already familiar with from seeing them on FB and my boyfriend and I both had envisioned what ours would look like substituting his dirt-bike racing photos with our marathon and race photos.  Something to really think about.

I of course was cold to my parents, I didn’t say much, I just wanted to get home RIGHT NOW and I even decided to skip the reception that followed.  As we headed out, I asked my boyfriend if he’d like to see the places where I had lived and the schools that I attended growing up.  Having just met my parents for the first time ever, he quickly obliged, probably surprised that I would utter such a thing and after a few hours of driving around and visiting these places, I gained the strength to change my mind, stop being selfish and decided to head to the reception to at least hug his wife and meet his 11-year old son for the first time.

I am so glad that I had changed my mind, it was a relief and so much weight was lifted off my chest. I knew things weren’t fixed but I knew that things were headed in the right direction. A first step of sorts. We left the reception a few hours later and I asked my boyfriend if he’d mind if we made one more pit stop to my parents house before we headed back. They had decided not to go to the reception and I really only got to say a handful of words, not so nice words, before they left. Of course he said yes and our night ended with some hugs, laughs and a new desire to work on these issues with them and more importantly myself.

A few days passed when I commented on my cousin’s memorial page on Facebook and I received the most amazing message from his wife:

“I just want you to know that even though [he] was 42 he looked up to you. He took such pride in showing our son all of your posts and pics about running. He was so excited that you were in the Boston Marathon. I think deep down inside he wished that he would have taken the chance and opportunity to leave this town the way you did. That’s why we push [our son] to know that sitting in this town is bad and it’s why we put so much of our income in an account for [him.] It’s sooo important that [he] leave this town and go to school over there or anywhere that he will learn a new lifestyle… LOL. He told him so many times that you set out and accomplished everything ON YOUR OWN. When [he] starts track again, maybe you can come down and show him some pointers.”

Seriously? My heart dropped, I just read the message over and over (I responded of course) and I cried too. It was a message that I needed to receive and I told myself it was time to change.

So after returning from Yosemite, I thought I would try running again, assuming my foot would let me. The first week 10/03-10/9 went really good. I ran four times that week without pain. Then this past week we added a few more runs/miles that really proved I was getting better.  On Monday I was supposed to run 5 miles at 8:00 pace but I was so focused on my foot that I ended up running a little too fast, around 7:30 pace. Coach wasn’t too happy about that but I felt a little better knowing that all this cross training did help keep me in shape considering that was a pretty easy run. I did promise that I would pay more attention moving forward. Besides running, I was also able to get some aquarunning intervals in too, which I am starting to long for (what the heck is wrong with me?).

I also discovered something really interesting last week too, my foot pain went away but the tightness in my calf was still there and by the second run that week, I felt it move up to my hamstring and lower back on the same side. I am hoping that this is the reason I was having pain in the first place because to me, it seems a lot more manageable. I tried to get on the foam roller a little more often and definitely need to incorporate some massages into my schedule. I have to admit though, this whole running life is very expensive, from gear, gym/pool fees, physical therapy, supplements and now maybe massages? Somethings have to suffer and I just don’t know which things to cut first.

Anyway, I hope I have a post next week discussing further running progress — my fingers are crossed!

Top of Half Dome!

Another solid week of training down in the books and really enjoying the variety of workouts, especially the swimming.  This week ended with a weekend hiking trip in Yosemite that had me and my friends scaling up and down Half Dome, unbelievably beautiful and scary at the same time.  Being in a place like that really clears your head and mind of frivolous concerns of city life and allows you to regroup and reset priorities. I get so excited every time I recall this trip but the details will have to be on a different post later.

Here is what my training looked like for the week:

Monday – Rest
Tuesday – Spin (1 hour with 5×4:00 standing climbs, 2 min. recovery)
Wednesday –  Swim (1 hour with 250 yd kick board and 600 yd aquarunning)
Thursday – Elliptical/Weights (1 hour elliptical plus full body weights)
Friday – Swim (1 hour 20 min. aquarunning with 4×6:00 repeats and 3 min recovery)
Saturday – Hike (Upper Yosemite Falls – ~9 miles from Curry Village)
Sunday – Half Dome (~19 miles from Curry Village)

Ending the weekend with all this crazy hiking, I felt exhausted yet refreshed at the same time because I didn’t experience any foot issues. I hope this is a major sign of my recovery. Running starts on Monday, but at a reasonable comeback rate.  Hooray!

Today got to Woollett Aquatics Center and found out they had an event going on so had to go to Northwood instead. This Aquarunning session was soooo tough. 20:00 warm-up followed by 3×9:00 (hard) repeats with 4:00 recovery. This will look like cake tomorrow when I have to run in pool for 1:45:00! Ahh…the benefits of being injured – NOT!

I know when you read the title of this blog, you are probably thinking of the internet acronym that we sometimes use while texting or commenting electronically but this is ROLF, a physical therapy technique invented by Ida Rolf which is basically soft tissue manipulation, or a way to reorganize connective tissue (this is totally new to me but there is a lot of online info available).

I had the pleasure of experiencing Rolfing this past Tuesday during track practice and let me tell you, it was no laughing matter. My coach had arranged this session for me because you may or may not know that I have not attempted to run one time since the ET Midnight Half Marathon August 13th (that story/update to come).  I dropped out of the race around mile 6, leaving my victory for someone else and have been limping every since.

Immediately that following Monday after the race, I jetted over to my orthopedic doc who treated me last year for my fracture. I had an x-ray taken which didn’t show anything (but of course it probably wouldn’t show a small fracture anyway) and it appeared that I might just be suffering from cuboid subluxation or tendenitis. Doc told me not to run for a week and see how it felt. Unfortunately the pain did not go away after the first week and I was still limping and I was also experiencing ankle pain. I visited my other doctor whom I make an effort to see monthly, the one that was treating me for the Sacroiliac issue earlier this year.  He also thought I didn’t have anything serious going on but did notice that all my muscles and tendons around my feet and ankle were very tight, my mobility was very limited compared to my right foot. The treatment I am getting from him is weekly and includes foot adjustments, Active Release Technique (ART) and Class-4 laser treatment – none of which seemed to be working, at least not fast enough.

Look ma, no cracks!!!

Anyway, I thought it would be a good idea to try this new treatment (new to me) and I agreed to meet John at the track while everyone would be running. I seriously had no idea what he would be doing and I really didn’t care as long as it helped.  I was totally surprised to see that he had brought his treatment table complete with blankets; it seriously felt like I was getting VIP treatment or something. Soon enough I felt like I was being tortured because this treatment is very, very painful.

John noticed a lot of interesting things about my foot, for one, my foot is extremely tight, so much that my toes are being pulled upwards and two, my foot doesn’t allow me to go through the normal range of motion when landing, in other words, I am underpronating and insufficiently rolling my foot inward after landing. Of course I don’t really believe 100% in what any doctor tells me because it is very hard to diagnose these things, I just listen and go back home and try to do more research based off what I have been told. Regardless of what it is, or what is causing it, he started to rub my legs (woohoo)…kidding, and the pain flooded in.

The technique was very slow, hard pressure movements along my muscles with included my gastrocnemis, soleus, peroneus longus and the ever-so-hard to reach tibialis anterious — all calf region muscles. All these tight calf muscles, which by the way don’t really feel tight to me, are pulling and putting strain on my feet including my poor little ankle and heel (calcaneus).

When the session was over I was relieved, I mean I can take a lot of pain, believe me I can, but this pain was almost unbearable and I was near tears. I immediately felt a lot of relief and I wasn’t really limping. The next day (today), I have been able to walk around without any thought of how my foot feels. Yay! I am still practical and know this is the beginning process of getting better and I have to continue working those muscles by foam rolling and other exercises he suggested. I hope I don’t scare you away with all this pain I mentioned – consider it a good pain.

If you are wondering what is next for me, I really don’t know. At first I texted my coach and basically wanted to quit, I get frustrated when I get injured and when I am frustrated, I start to think I am the only runner that ever gets injured which is ridiculous. After that frustration period, I really didn’t care about the injury, I mean, I want to get better but I know there will always be another race for me. I am just trying to get better without losing a lot of my fitness by aquajogging and jumping back in the pool to work on my lame swimming skills and definitely doing everything to keep from going crazy.

Check out these pictures of the treatment — my poor skin.

Track workouts really, really helped.

It seems like the summer came and went while I was still blinking.  Well, technically it is still summer but we are already in August and the time is flying by! I guess running-wise summer was dedicated to speed training and mastering the 5K, a race I have managed to avoid for nearly a decade.

I started training with my coach in early February after running a balls-out (see race post here) 1:26 half at Surf City.  At that point she was living in Vegas and our training was more virtual — phone, emails and text messages. She knew my only goal was to run sub-3  (2:59:59) and after several discussions and a few workouts under my belt, we decided we would get me through LA Marathon (only 6 weeks away) and then focus on that goal. Before long I found myself injured the week of the marathon by either freak massage accident or some other weird and unexplained anomaly.  My training went on hold for 8 weeks before we started training again, this time she had moved to Los Angeles to train with our group and we started at a much slower and easier rate to ensure my injury stayed away!

As soon as we had established a base and felt safe that I had recovered, my coach met me at the track to see what I could do. I dreaded this day and I was not surprised that this track workout would kick my butt.  It was tough, at least for me:  1600 (5:48), 1200 (5:48p), 800 (5:24p) and 400 (:78s).  Coach ran directly in front of me and I just had to shadow her and not pay attention to my watch.  The first 1600 felt great and I was excited upon hearing my split the next two were torturous because my coach got out ahead of me, really far, and since I was instructed to not look at my watch, I had assumed that I was hitting the wall only to find out that I was on pace and she had just darted ahead.  After the 1200, I just hunched over and I swear to this day that my eyes wanted to roll and stick to the back of my head. By then I knew the hard part was over and I just had to get in the last shorter repeats.

As dreadful as that day was, it was also a new chapter in my running “life” or whatever you want to call it because I discovered that I always had the potential to run faster but never really challenged myself in a way to see how fast I could go because I was a marathon runner — marathoners don’t have speed right? In my own training programs (Hal Higdon modified), I did nearly every run at my marathon pace 7:30 and during track my mile splits were mid 6:00’s and I thought that was borderline too fast.  (Just writing that last line makes me cringe to think of all the mistakes I was making trying to train myself.) It was also great for my coach to see this so she could give me workouts that would help me improve and reach more realistic goals, one of which would be breaking 18:00 during the summer since we had some time before marathon training would begin.

Soon enough our small group of 4-5 runners were meeting every week for track and long runs. I found these run to be invaluable because we were able to push together (or me rather, me chase) and of course bond.  Everything seems a little easier with very inspiring and motivating people around you.

We started training in early May and I ran one 5K per month from June to August running  a 19:11 (Magic Shoe ), 16:59 (Every Child Matters – short course and very disappointing), 18:32 (Northgate Downtown Anaheim), 18:04 (City of Cypress) and finally 18:18 (Pride of the Valley).

I was devastated when I caught a severe cold just a few days before Pride of the Valley because this was the last 5K coach was going to let me run this year and also because this is a FAST PR course — I should have no problem breaking 18:00! As I always say, you can never predict what will happen in a marathon but now I firmly believe that rings true for most competitions with so many factors leading up to the race and of course during.   I crossed that last 5K finish line a little disappointed at first but then I realized I was so happy to say that I am really an 18-something minute 5K runner — sick or not!  My day got so much better that evening when I received a few text messages from coach:  You still ran well. If you weren’t sick you would have gotten a PR no doubt, to be able to do what you did today, I am proud of you.  You and I will run a 5K together so you can go under 18. I was so excited — one more chance! Hooray, there is still hope!  :D

If this is what 18:04 looks like, I am not sure I want to go much faster!

My Goose, always there for me at every race (with his camera at hand). <3

One of the best things about planning races with friends - lots of fun. (Marathon Mitch, Dominic, Me, Ashley, Don't know, Vick and Indeeka)

Oh, and we managed to do SF (Ash ran the full, I ran the first half). Pictured here with us: BART YASSO