Last month I finally decided to try my foot with running again and it was disastrous. Yes, I was a little stir-crazy and I charged out the gates with 32 miles in the books by the end of week ONE (don’t even ask about the pace as you will surely call me stupid). That was a very short week let me tell you, because I could barely finish my last run that week due to a very familiar pain in the exact same spot I had incurred the fracture (notice I use the word ‘incurred’). Days following that last run I was limping and felt hopeless. I felt as everyday passed, my running goals were passing by and that really got me down. It’s no secret I like to exaggerate everything in life (including running goals) so I spewed out nonsense about not running for the rest of the year to make sure I was healthy. That spew out of my mouth quickly became something I wish I never said because I am not a doctor and if I could run sooner than that, I would want to. I ended up taking an additional month off, bringing me to today with 20 weeks off since my injury. Once I finally had enough guts to see my doctor, I had a good feeling everything would be OK. When I felt the pain last month I avoided seeing him because I was scared to find out what COULD be wrong – it was one thing for me to say I WANTED to take the rest of the year off, but to actually hear it from the doctor is another thing.
Archive for September, 2010
It has been quite sometime since I have visited my own site. Perhaps I have avoided it because the injury feels so fresh (literally), or maybe I was too embarrassed to admit defeat. Whatever the reason, I feel like it is time to face it and move forward. From the moment I fractured my foot and until now, my emotions have been up and down – a real life roller coaster. Today I decided I would just come home from work, take a shower and sit in front of my computer and let it all out. And as if it isn’t hard enough to do this, I thought I would make it more interesting by indulging on Wild Habanero Cheetos all while trying not to stain my white keyboard and rub my eyes (I guess if it happens, it will be well worth it – kind of like my 12/12 goal).
It has been near 18 weeks since my injury and I am not anymore ready to run than I would have been during week 6. I speak of this experience as a roller coaster and if you’ve never been to Magic Mountain you may not understand what I am talking about. I kind of thought this injury would be like similar to Freefall – I would just close my eyes, raise my arms in submission and just FALL, it would be over relatively quickly. Unfortunately this ride seemed more like Revolution – a longer ride with several unsuspecting turns, 360s and I kept my eyes open the entire time trying to predict the next path (run) until it finally stopped and I ended up with a migraine AND foot pain.
I am sure I could keep going on about these feel-sorry-for-me stories but that really isn’t my intention. As awful as I feel sometimes, I have had some pretty amazing things happen to me. Maybe they happened because I wasn’t so focused on running – who knows…
Just a few days ago I received an email from a friend of a friend who was trying to achieve the same goal and unfortunately fractured her femur during her third race. Such a simple email from someone going through something similar – someone who didn’t even have to take the time to contact me. Sometimes it is easy to forget how sometimes a few simple words of encouragement can affect a person. Fortunately for me, I experienced several words of encouragement by many other runners and although I am probably a little too emotional, they weigh equally on my heart and memory – THANK YOU.